Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

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What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. Jewish people celebrate Hanukkah

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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I'm so punny.

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Why can't Hellen keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why did the black guy lose the race? He toke an arrow to the knee

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Did u know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes by?

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Elise's parents have four children. The first's name is April, the second's name is May, the third's name is June. What's the fourth children's name ? July. Elise is adopted, and thus does not count.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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what did the fish say when i threw it at the wall. Ouch. Then the world ended because it caused a ripple in the fabric of reality.

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A man asks his wife to make him a sandwich, she proceeds to make a sandwich using rye bread, lettuce, two slices of tomatoes, a variety condiments, mustard and several slices of American cheese. The man eats the sandwich at a parade with his wife celebrating Woman's Rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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