Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the worst part about eating a dead baby? It's a tie between the smell, the taste, and the depression associated with whatever decline in humanitsy that has brought you to this point in your life. Overall, it's an outright terrible situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel on his crotch, and the bartender says, "What's that?" and the pirate says, "A deadly tumor."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was Timmy so unpopular at school? Because he caught aids of his pet rock

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than getting sockson your birthday? Getting cancer on your birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What does a cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Procedes with his long difficult hunt to find another companion who accepts him for what he is, without the fear of being eaten.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

The diamond one below is hilarious.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

thumb_up thumb_down -10

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

thumb_up thumb_down -10

ROSE ARE BROWN VIOLETS ARE BROWN WHO SH*IT IN MY GARDEN!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why did hellen kellers dog run away? because if your name was awughunguh you'd run too.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops