what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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a

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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THER ONCE WAS A jueny WITH A TEN FOOT WENNY AND HE WENT TO SHOW IT TO THE LADY NEXT DOOR SHE THOUGHT IT WAS A SNKE SO SHE HIT IT WITH A RAKE AND NOW ITS ONLY FIVE FOOT FOUR!

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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An Indian, American and French man walk into the bar simultaneously. Unfortunately, they get stuck in the door.

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whats black with purple?nothing no animals or humans have anything like that

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

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What did the mother say to her child that was washing the dishes? "Sweep the floor."

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Why did the audience walk out of the movie? Because it had just finished.

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Why were two black men fighting for a dollar that fell on the floor? Because they both lost their homes in the crashing market and have to care for their ill children that need money for medical expenses.

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Why so serious ?

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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