Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

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What did the clock say to the book? I have no batteries.

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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How did the man die? He was killed alive.

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whats black white and red all over an abused child

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

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A man walks into a bar, sits down and talks to the woman sitting next to him. The woman took out a cigarette, and offered one to the man. The man said yes, even though he never smoked before, because he was trying to get with the woman. They smoked a few more before the woman left, and the man left shortly after. The man became a chain smoker and died 1 year later from lung cancer caused by smoking multiple packs a day.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

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A horse walks into a bar. The Barman asks "why the long face?" The horse says "My son was recently killed in a horrific horse racing accident"

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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