roses are blue violetrs are green im shooting heroine into my head

What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

Why did'nt the puppy eat it's food? Because it was made up of little bits and peices of it's family.

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

How did the boys sunglasses fall off his face? He was drop kicked.

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

A rabi a priest and a gay guy are praying. The rabi says amen the priest says amen the gay guy says ahh men.

person 1. Did you here about the black guy who went to college? person 2.no person 1. either have i whats ironic is that they are both black

Ding dong Who's there Electricity

Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'Why the long face?' The horse replies 'I've got AIDS.'

Whats green and has wheels? Grass...i lied about the wheels

Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

Well, you need to develop a particular mindset, and while scienTITS claim that its not logical so it does not work... Well, SUGAR, thing is that the mind and emotions, cannot be explained logically either. Let me expand your mind (if I have not already) A astronomer meets up with a brain surgeon, the Astronomer says to the brain surgeon: I do not believe in god. Why? says the brain surgeon. Because I have studied most of the outer space and never found seen any trace of God.

(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

A boy asks his teacher for a eraser....he was given a blue pen. Turns out he was in space.

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he had heard this joke so many times that it drove him so mad that he grabbed an ice cream, stepped into the road, and was hit by a bus, purposely adding an ironic effect to his death.

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

What's worse than a monkey attack. Nothing monkey attacks absolutely blow.

Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

white or wheat? wheat please.

Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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