Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Suck its dick.

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Whats really ugly and horny Jake's mom

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Why did the little boy throw a clock out of the window? Because he wanted to break it.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme This one doesn't

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did the black man commit suicide? Because he was killed by a white cop.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Why does life hand you lemons? Because it sucks enough, so it wants you to have some.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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