What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Why did the teacher ask her student about the test? Because she was in the hospital the day of the test because her husband was hit by a rail road spike and died but she was so devoted to her job she wanted to know.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Why was the little girl crying? There was a frog stapled to her forehead.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas. A new vest and a puppy because his father got a promotion and a much higher pay raise.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Since when is it any of your business? Cant we live in a world where chickens can cross the road freely without having there motives questioned?

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Barack Obama is a good president.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

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What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

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What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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Did you know that every 60 seconds in Africa a minute passes

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops