What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What are the first three words in a Mexican Cook Book? Steal a chicken.

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Q Why did the feminist cross the road? A To suck my dick

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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How many Russians can you fit in a Mini Cooper? It depends on how big they are.

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

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What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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So, why won't the blonde date the Asian guy? Because she's afraid of commitment.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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So, Helen Keller walked into a bar....and then a stool, and then a counter, and then a table....

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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A black man walks into a bar. He paid his tab and couldn't have been more polite.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb.

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I got stopped for speeding the other day. The policeman said I had to pay a £50 fine. I was gutted. However, later that night I had amazing sex with my wife, which helped me to take my mind off things a bit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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