How do you poop without it splashing? clench clench, release, clench clench, release, clench, release, clench, release.

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What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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A man walks into a bar. He hasn't been there before, and it's a Friday so it's really crowded, and it's really quite a dive, so he and his girlfriend decide to leave and find somewhere else to eat.

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

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AND

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What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Knock knock? Who's there? Not Schrodinger's cat, or is it?

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A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

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what did the black man say to the Muslim? "you the bomb"!

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What do you call an armless legless man swimming? Dead

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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