Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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A man walks into an airport. He is sexually taken advantage of by TSA employees and suffers from severe depression for years after, eventually becoming gay and divorcing his wife. He then goes on a quest to discover the name of the man who took advantage of him. Once found, the man kills the employee and his family, commits acts of necrophilia upon his corpse in a slightly erotic display of revenge and stalks airports for the rest of his life, fruitlessly attempting to quench an insatiable bloodthirst for TSA workers.

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what happens when a hamster bites your arm? your arm bleeds

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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Son : daddy ,I got punished in school today. Dad :why? Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying -"At the end of this scale there is an idiot"..... I just asked "WHICH END ?.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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prison isnt fun it also is bland kidnapping is a crime but get in the van

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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lol

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patient: Doctor, doctor, i think i'm a lemon. Doctor: racial segregation and presidency is my middle name.

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What do you say if you see a black man with blood on his hands and he has a mask on? Thank you doctor for saving my sons life!

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

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The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

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why do you kill people in call of duty you don't you kill computer made figures

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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why did the monkey fall? he got hit by a train

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Dubstep = a computer with a noisy virus.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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