Q: Why did Jesus die for our sins? A: He didn't.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

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When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

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Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? He is short and finds it difficult getting from place to place.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What came first... the chicken or the egg? How am I supposed to know?

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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what's wose than finding a holocaust in your anti-joke? the potential offspring of courtney love and al gore

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

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What was so incredible about this bigger new oven i just bought? It could fit twice as many Jews in it. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Committing Suicide #YOLO

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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why did the crops die? because a deranged clown sprayed them with liquid nitrogen.

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How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

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Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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