My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A lion, a leopard, a sheep, and a flesh eating New Zealand parrot stalk, trot and fly, respectively, into a bar. The parrot lands on the the sheep's back and begins to tear into its flesh in order to reach the succulent deposits of fatty tissue located around the sheep's kidneys. "Ouch!" Said the sheep. "Why would you do that? Oh, the pain! The pain!" "Squak!", Replied the NZ parrot, wiping blood of its sharp, hooked beak on the counter. "I think," Began the lion, "This parrot from New Zealand is hungry for fat from a sheep's soft, woolly back." The sheep's wool was now damp with blood. "Perhaps this parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from its soft woolly back." "Ah!" Said the sheep. "This parrot from New Zealand wants sheep fat from my soft woolly back!" "Yes", Replied the lion. "You could also say..." Started the sheep, "That an NZ parro-" The sheep did not finish his sentence. He died from his wounds. The lion left. The parrot flew off to tear up some windshield wipers. And the leopard stashed the sheep carcass in a tree branch for later consumption.

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roses are red violets are blue I have a knife stand by the door

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

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What do you call a fat ginger kid? Whatever his name is.

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Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

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What's worse than blowing out 1 lightbulb Blowing out 2 lightbulbs

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

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A apple a day keeps gramar away.

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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******************************************************** Okay, so there were two muffins in the oven. One muffin said, "Oh my gosh! We're gonna die!" The other muffin said, "Whoa a talking muffin!" **********************************************************

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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What's brown and sticky? "A stick?" No, poo.

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Santa Claus is so hairy he need to shave more often.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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