What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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What did the whale say when he ran into a wall? - Oh Shit

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

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What did the cookie ask the glass of milk? Will you wash me down

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Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Where does a successful black person live? Neverland.

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What do you call a white guy in a joke? The first joke to specify one of the people in the joke as one with Caucasian origin.

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Knock, knock who's there? Steve Evans. Steve Evans who? You've already forgotten me? We just met on Eharmony yesterday.

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A jew walked into a bar Hitler said.... A jew walked out of a concentration camp

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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black people swimming

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What do you do when you see four black people and a Jew? You buy them

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So, there was two monkeys sitting in a bath tub one says "Hey, could you pass the soap?" the other says "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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How did the seal die? It went clubbing ... Then overdosed on ecstasy, it was very sad.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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what is the opposite of underpants? overpants

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? Love and attention from his parents.

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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