A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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Santa Claus and eight reindeers walk into a bar. “Hey, fatty,” the barman shouts. “Where’s Rudolph?” “He’s dead,” Santa replied. “I’m sorry to hear that,” the barman said, looking embarrassed. “Let me get you a drink.”

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Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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2 guys at a funeral. "did you know the girl?" asks one of the guys. "No" replies the other. "Me neither."

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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How did Allen Iverson compose one of the most well known interviews of all time? Practice.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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What tastes worse than dog shit? White dog shit.

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Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in an open hole Poor body disposal practice

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Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Well it all started when 7 did something horrible to 8 and 9. Always being used for various things and never getting credit, 7 finally snapped one day at the office. He went home for lunch, which was uncharacteristic for him. He came back with a large duffle bag and a trench coat on. He walked into the the middle of the office and opened the bag and trench coat. The events that followed are now known as the office slaughtering of 1992. 7 ended up gutting 8 alive and eating its intestines. 9 was forced to watch then inch by inch was cut up. His heart was ripped out and shown to him before he died. The body was then thrown into acid, and 7 hung himself with piano wire, but lived. 7 also has herpes and 6 doesnt want anything to do with that shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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