Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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What's blue, white and red all over? Not a duck.

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knock knock whos their? kevin kevin who? knock knock huh? queef

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what did the apple say to the orange? :nothing because an apple is not a human organism nor an orange therefore they can not speak....

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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What time is it in Florida? Time To Eat The President Of The United States!

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Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

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What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What do you call a griraffe and a duck who's favorite colors are both purple? A coincidence in which two unrelated species have the same preference in colorant hues.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? It was because it was a mushroom costume party

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Why'd the clown fall out of the tree? it died. Why'd the cat fall out of the tree? it died Why'd the chicken fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the clown

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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