How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? An X-box, a sweater and some socks.

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Roses are red, Grass is greener, When I think about you, I play with my weiner

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Whats circular and black? a black circle.

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Past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense!

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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Why couldn't the 13 year old get into the pirate movie? He has cancer and is dying in the hospitable.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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What did the boy skip rocks with? -A rock

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why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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