Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? Yeah, he died.

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I am quite mature.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Going up to someone and saying, "my mom is dead and my dad tryd killing himself, can i have a ride home?"

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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What do you call a Jew in the oven? The oven repair man

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Why did the girl call suicide hotline? Cuz he wanted to kill herself.

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Why did the student have a staring contest with his teacher? Well, the teacher was actually unaware of the competition.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Columbus Day... A day to remember the anniversary of Columbus enslaving America.

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Q. Why did the fence break? A. Too many mexicans were climbing it.

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Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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I had a terrible childhood. My mom abandoned me before I was born.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Why did the man rob the house? He had a horrible childhood which led him to making these bad choices.

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Why did helen keller's dog run away? He lost track of his destination and got lost.

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Why was Mr. Smith always so sad at the block party? His uncle molested him as a child, when he was 10 he finally told his mother. His mother and father later fought if they should tell the police, the mother wanted him to go to jail, and the dad didn't want to ruin his family because the uncle was his brother, and the uncle had children. Right before his mother would call the police his father stabbed her in the back, mr smith saw what happened. Him and his father hid his mothers body and mr smith"s dad told him if he tells anyone about this he will kill him. Years later when mr smith was 13 he went on drugs to ease the pain, he later became an addict, and dropped out of school. He know suffers from depression and has killed all 3 of his wives. He is wanted in many middle eastern countries. So when ever he goes to sleep he has the same dream were him mom offers him pot and right before he gets it his dad stabs her in the back. So know mr smith is sad at the block party because he will kill himself later tonight.

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I love results day! for every A* I get 30 pounds! everything else I cut myself.

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What's clear and looks like water? Water.

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B=boy G=girl B:hey i got a good nock nock joke but you have to start it G:okay nock nock B:whos there?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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