Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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If your Uncle Jack helped you off an elephant, would you help your Uncle jackoff an elephant? Probably not because it would take more than 3 hands to jack off an elephant P.S. Your Uncle Jack only has 1 hand. Your uncle was on a swing and a clown cut off his hand with an ax

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If your reading this, youre not blind.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Hey, did you see that episode of Glee last night? It was awesome! Especially that scene where they all sang. It wasn't as good as the previous ones, but I think the show it making a comeback.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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A man walked into a bar owch

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Why couldn't my grandpa use a cell phone? He didn't have hands.

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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Man: Did It Hurt Woman: Did what hurt? Man: When your legs were crushed after being run over by that semi

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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where do you hide a black mans paycheck? somewhere he would never find it

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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