There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jeez Bill, how drunk was I last night? You took my pet parakeet, threw it at my daughter's piggy bank and yelled "ANGRY BIRDS!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homosexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual pandas just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homosexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats funnier than a dead baby? many things. a dead baby is a very sad and tragic thing.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -6

roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why Americans are so bad at League of Legends? Because they can't defend their towers.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. Fortunately, the bra was on display in a clothing store and was not actually being worn at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was 6 afraid of seven? It isn't numbers are not sentiment objects therefore incapable of feeling fear

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the amputee get for Christmas? Shot.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one dead baby say to the other dead baby? Nothing, they are both dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the director call cut? Because he was shot dead by Nazis.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"Why do children's movies show everything in that happens in the movie in the trailer?" "The same reason I show children everything that's inside of my trailer."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is long, hard, and full of seamen A submarine you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down -6

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops