What do you get when you combine a baby and a chainsaw? 30 years to to life in prison.

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What do you get when someone tells you an anti joke? An anti joke.

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what is another way to say tree? A big stick with leaves

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Canoe Well one is a human, beating heart, and the other is a small boat you row in

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

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Knock Knock "Who's there?" "This is Frank from Walside Windows just wondering if you wou..." (Door Slams Shut) "Damn those people are annoying"..

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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What do you get we you mix a ginger with gasoline? A forest fire.

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What's better than wining the para Olympics? Wining the Olympics.

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Why did the princess kiss the frog? She really wanted a wart.

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Q. What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? A. I don't were cleats when I jump on my trampoline.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally Sally who? Haha I'm just kidding, I'm Jorge.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a black man? It would be cannibalism to eat a black man.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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How do you make someone sad? Tell them they have cancer

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What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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What do Ash Ketchum and Peter Francis Geraci have in common? Absolutely nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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