One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

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Why did the man enter the fridge? He was hot Why is the man not in the chicken shop Hes in the fridge

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Robocop The Reboot reboot. Watch as The friendly robot named Murphy, is violently broken down by a horrible shower of water, the only means to save him is to transfer his data into a human. He awakens again as Robofriendlydude (starring Adam Sandler) as a robot learns to love, learns to share, learns to dance with children in this years Reboot of the classic love comedy Robocop. PG-3 "So good I could only watch five seconds of it" Rotten potatoes. 99 percent fresh. "Kill me with a chainsaw" Honest reviews. "AWESOME!" Dishonest reviews "Makes Twilight seem like the better lovestory" Everyone.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, some dont

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whats long and black? a baton

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

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Why did the boy jump off a cliff Because he was gay and committed suicide

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If the shoe fits....... its probably your size.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Having a giant, angry ape on steroids rip your heart out and eat it before your eyes as you painfully die from the unbearable pain and rapid blood loss.

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Q: How are a plum and a rabbit alike? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Q: What's worse than finding out you have genital herpes? A: Finding out your grandmother gave them to you

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Why did Santa go to a rap concert? Because Santa was a rapper

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

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A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

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Hitler, Mussilini, And Hideki Tojo Walk In To A Bar Mitzvah, Everyone Was Brutally Murdered & No One Survived.

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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The boy said to the priest, may God be with you. The priest responded with, "And also IN you".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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