What did the elf say to Santa I'm not making any more toys fat ass.

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a black man, a Jew, a Chinese man and a polar bear walk into a bar, the bar tender says sorry no animals allowed in the bar, so the polar bear left and the other three ordered some drinks and had a nice time

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Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

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How did Jesus walk on water? Jesus is God in the form of a man, and he is the only human being ever with the ability to perform miracles

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yo momma so fat, it appears she has two chins

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969 i like potatos 696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969696969

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a corvette? I didn't get 20 years for owning a corvette.

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What did a boy dying from cancer get for Christmas? The news that his cancer progressed and he would soon die. He underwent a surgery that got rid of the cancer and he was cured. He ran out of the hospital in excitement and got hit by a bus. He recovered slowly, but lived. By this time it was June and his birthday, he returned to school later that year. He got called fat and committed suicide.

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what's the only thing worse than losing a pen before a test? getting raped by a pedifile. -teagan doherty-

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So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

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your mammas so big that she needs paint rollers to put on lipstick

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Why was the new born on the orphanage's doorstep? He was an accident.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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"Never trust what the internet says." - Abraham Lincoln

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What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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Did you hear about that guy? He had a wonderful morning.

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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What's the best thing about Windows OS? It's very versatile and can run a wide selection of programs, tools, and games.

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It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

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Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

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whats fun about the governement's jokes? nothing, they are actually serious

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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