What did the kid with no arms get for his birthday? A sock puppet.

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Where did Susie go during the bombings? Susie was wandering around the streets as she felt like she didn't know where she was any more. Everything was burnt to ashes. She came across a man who she has never met. He tells her to follow him. She did.Later, Susie, the mysterious man and a few other people with him were in a private meeting room. The mysterious man tells Susie that he was a Frenchman and he was with the resistance. A few minutes later, the bombs were dropping everywhere. The meeting room was destroyed and Susie, the Frenchman and his men were under attack. The French resistance were about to fight, but retreated - for they were French. Susie was left, lying there as she saw a bomb in the sky about to land on her. She tried to get up and run, but the bomb was too fast. It got her. So yeah. Susie went everywhere, like you lot said.

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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whats your name whats the color of the sky whats the oppisite of down

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Nothing. I killed them both with a fire axe and proceeded to kill all the patients in the hospital.

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Wanna hear a joke? Womens rights ;) Wanna hear another joke? Too bad i'm not gonna tell you

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Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? He worked his problems out with a pencil... It was a #2 pencil

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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69

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Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if you father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What did the white man say to the black man? Nice Pants

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You haven't happened to see a cigarette truck around here have you? What's a truck?

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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why did the dog went inside the church? because the door was open.

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Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

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If I was, yet this syndicate was a legal one, necessary in order to maintain world peace trough the means of economical stability and such, would this be acceptable to you? Hypothetically of course.

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Why did the boy not get picked up from soccer? His mom was in a fatal car accident. His dad simply forgot.

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So the question i got asked in order to post this was: Which one is easiest? and I thought to myself, the slutty one, obviously!!

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies nailed to one tree? 10 living babies nailed to one tree

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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