Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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It's red or yellow but most likely grey, and when its hit your eye you are dead? A train :)

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

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what do michael Jackson and little boys do in the dark alone? they turn on the flashlight

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Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

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How do you start a riot in Mexico? Roll a penny down the street.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? A. Spot

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

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why did Sally fall off of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there?

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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What did thirty starving Jews fight for on the train ride to Birkenau? A crumb. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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What's green and has wheels? Grass i was lying about the wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops