Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

why did the little girl throw a clock out of the window? because she wanted to see time fly

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown and sticky? A black man's dick after raping you.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Naw, not now, I don't want to be assimilated, I am a bit of a wuss right now, really tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a blonde takes 1 hour to swim 100m of breaststroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Grandpa loved a good joke, he died laughing. The doctor said it was a severe stroke probably brought on by smoking aggravated by high cholesterol and high blood pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Did you hear the joke about the pencil? Nevermind it was pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A car walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Q. What has 5 chins, 10 eyes, 10 feet, and 50 fingers? A. Five People.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what goes in hard and comes out soft? bubblegum, what were you thinking?

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock knock Who's there? Knock Knock I said who's there? My name is Knock Knock Oh hi Knock Knock, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did they do with the drunken sailor? Gave him the sack, which meant he could no longer provide for his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the Chinese family eat a dog? Because they were poor and starving refugees.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops