Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

Have u seen stevie wonders new house? No. Niether has he

Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

This week only, 2 for 1 misdemeanor shop lifting arrest. How can I do it? Because I can.

Q: What does a really poor kid say to his friends? A: I hate over working for 75 cents an hour...

You look like Susan Boyle f**ked Snooki and then got hit by a truck.

Person1: Man I had the worst day ever. Person2: Worser than the holocaust.

Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

You need to trim these evergreens. Either they are getting low our my van is GROWING!

His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

A dog walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "why the long face?" The dog replies, "because I am a dog you idiot, my face always looks like this"

Knock Knock The guy opens the door

whats the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari. I don't have a ferrari in my garage

I swear to god it wasnt me Dont swear to go its a sin !

:)Knock Knock :(Whose's there? :)None ya :(None ya who? :)None ya dam business.

Anti - Jokes. com

What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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