Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

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What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? I do not know because it depends on the woodchuck; however, if some statistical evidence is gathered on the average amount of wood a woodchuck could chuck you most likely would get a close answer, considering that the statistical research was not flawed.

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You remind me of something What? Monday Why? Nobody likes you

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Having a self-conscious baluga hold a gun on you while you hand him all the money you have on you, then realizing balugas are creatures indigenous to aquatic regions, and then realizing you are deep under water and are probably about to die from suffocation

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Q:what's faster than a black man with you t.v A:his brother with your laptop

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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Roses are red,vilots are blue just wait till I poo and till i kiss you

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retarded guy? Youre Retarded

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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A black man walks out of a police station

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

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A black man, an asian man, and white man walk into a bar. Not that out of the ordinary since America is a melting pot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops