How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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http://cache.deadspin.com/assets/resources/2008/04/Deer_mating2.jpg

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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the WNBA.

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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Question: What is worse then a worm in your apple? Answer: A number of different things I would imagine...

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was in a chicken pen.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Blonde: Where's the ice? Asian: In the freezer.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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how much swag could a swagchuck chuck, if a swagchuck could chuck swag?

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What do you call a dolphin mixed with a cheetah? I have no idea I was hoping you knew.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if you want to success, stop being a mess..

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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