I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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We found a cure for cancer. Death

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hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I have alzheimers. Hey i just met you.

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What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? A very unfortunate blind fish.

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what is purple and smells like poop? very weird looking poop

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Why did a black man toss a bowl into the air? Because he just got it from the microwave and it was extremely hot.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Why can't the orphan play baseball? He can't find home.

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Why'd Carly fall off the swing? She got hit by a bus

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What's big fat and ugly? A monster

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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Where did Little Johnny go when the bomb hit? Everywhere.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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Why did the flight attendant look scared every time every time she saw a muslim get on the airplane? Because her family got murdered in front of her before she came to work

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About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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