What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

men, men like men= men+bed

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

Roses are are red Violets are blue I just ate a crockpot!

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

A: what did one apple say to the other apple. B: Nothing apples cant talk

What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...