What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

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Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? either officer or offender, depending on what role he has in the crime.

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kill yourself....with a cigarette

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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What's Green and has Wheels? Ian Leighton... I LIED ABOUT THE GREEN

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Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Why are orphans so bad at baseball? They don't know where home is.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Caroline Kelly.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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a man dyslexic into bar walks a

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

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A man walked into a bar owch

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knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops