What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot. You racist.

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How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

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A: "How much rope does it take to hang a baby?" B: "I don't know, how much?" A: "The guy at Home Depot didn't know either."

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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No antijoke here.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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what is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 11 dead babies in a trash can

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Roses are red, violets are blue.. Oh i can't finish joke coz i gotta go poo ! :/

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Youu might be a Jew if you........take part in a weekly service at your local synagogue.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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A man walks into a bar,gets a drink, and then leaves.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

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What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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A man wakes up after only one hour of sleep due to his insomnia. He starts to cry because his wife just passed away and his parents were recently killed in a car accident. The man gathers his composure, takes a shower, and drives to his minimum wage job. He was expelled from high school for an assault he didnt even commit and has no money to get an education. At work, he accidentally drops a box of valuable, fragile electronic parts and gets fired by his boss. He goes home to his dirty 1 bedroom apartment and contemplates suicide. He decides to wait as his favorite tv show is on. He turns on the tv to the news his show has been cancelled. The man, depressed, suicidal and alone, picks up his .22 and kills himself. There is no God.

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Your mamas so fat, that any level of physical exercise is strenuous, but also mentally challenging, as she feels that there is a negative astigmatism attached to sweaty, red-faced overweight individuals trying to burn those pounds. This in turn makes her ashamed of the gastronomically decadent life she once lived, and so she doesn't have the confidence to try and reverse the damage she did during those insecure teenage years, instead comforting herself with the sugary, fatty bane of her life. She therefore lives in a vicious circle, angry at herself and the society that won't accept her. But remaining incredibly, repulsively fat.

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Knock knock I'M IN THE BATHROOM !!

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I have a horse.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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