A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Ok so 3 guys walk into a bar... the fourth one ran.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Names.

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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The doctor told a man he had aids. He told his friends he had AIDS so his friends wouldn't sleep with his wife after he died.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Guy 1: Where's your dog Guy 2: I Dunno Guy 1: I ate it

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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what will you do if you become a ruler of the world? Waking up, its just a dream GET REAL!

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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Theres a tomatoe a cucumber and a mouth. HA

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Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo. Get in the van.

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What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Nobody cares maddie!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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