Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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What did the african get for his birthday? an ounce of water, as water is very scares in his community and it is a great resource

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What's the difference between a woman and the Universe ? One is full of mysteries mankind may never understand, the other is, well, the Universe.

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Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

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Why is Stevie Wonder called Stevie Wonder? Wonder where I am.

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An Jewish man worked at a bank, and ate chicken noodles for lunch and then stabbed and man playing the saxophone.

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? Because he was mentally handicaped

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What's John Lennon doing these days? Decomposing.

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It's not that hard to be Dyslexic. You just have to accept it nad ovem no.

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A boy and a girl are each granted a wish Girl: I want us to be lovers until the end of the world Boy: I want the world to end

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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What's the difference between girl scouts and boy scouts? Girl scouts are usually females and boy scouts are usually males.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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Do Your Homework: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Get An Award At School: Mum - Well Done Dad - Well Done Figure How To Adjust The Zoom On Your Computer: Mum & Dad - WOW HOW DO YOU KNOW SO MUCH, YOU'RE SO CLEVER, WHO TAUGHT YOU THIS?! Typical ...

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c it was dead. Q: Why did the second monkey fall out if the tree? A: b/c it was stapled to the first one. Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: b/c he thought it was a game. Q: Why did the toaster fall out of the tree? A: The branch snapped. Q: Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? A: She was hit by three monkeys and a toaster :( MAB99

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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what will you never loose if you play world of warcraft your verginity

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Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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