What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

Why didn't the little girl show up for school? Because she was dead.

Person 1: So now that were friends on facebook, you wanna hang out? Person 2: No I'd rather not.

what happened to the man who fell off the boat? He died!

A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

knock knock who's there? banana well that's an odd name. banana then began to break down in tears because his parents were constant drug abusers and gave him that name while they were high

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn? He doesn't say anything to the unicorn because dragons and unicorns don't exist. Even if they did exist, dragons and unicorns can't talk, unless we're talking about cartoons. Also, even if it was a cartoon or whatever, do you really think a purple dragon has ANYTHING to say to a unicorn?! Of course not! Oh look at me I'm a cool talking dragon, I have something so important to say to this unicorn. Gimme a break...

what's black and hangs from a tree in my garden? a blackberry

Why is did the blonde cross the road? She was trying to catch the chicken.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

How do you make Samuel L. Jackson cry? Trick question...Samuel L. Jackson don't cry. ever...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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