why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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What's special about an Irish Parachute ? It's made in Ireland.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's dog? Neither has anyone else, because it ran away yesterday, and was most likely hit by a car.

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She Explored My Body, Licked, Sucked, Swallowed! When Satisfied, She Left! . . . . Damn Mosquito!!!

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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steven hawking walks into a bar just kidding he has a horrable disiese preventing him from walking

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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What's sad about this man who committed suicide? He forgot to return his rented DVDs.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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What did the paraplegic say when he walked? Nothing, paraplegics can't walk.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops