what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she has a slightly below average IQ.

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2 black guys, a colombian guy and a white girl are sitting at a bar. They are friends.

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Kinky = using a feather Perverted = using the whole chicken Weird = using chicken bones Downright disgusting = all of the above, plus a cat

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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Why did Jenny fall off her bike? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Jenny

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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BBW BABY IS THE BEST BETTER THAN THE REST WELL EXCEPT MILF BABY. SUBSCRIBE TO BigHDGuns

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Salt is brown, Pepper is white, my kitchen is in a mess.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. Because most living organisms eventually cross some form path that is commonly known as a road. Roads are hard asphalt that is very good for cars and other wheeled road licensed vehicles.

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speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

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A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada, where were the deceased buried? It turns out that there were passengers of several different nationalities on board, all of which were buried in their respective homelands.

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how do you make a cat get out of a tree you shot it

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Why did the cow go over the hill? He didn't. He was pinned and slaughtered in a private owned animal torture facility.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken had just escaped from the slaughterhouse where he witnessed the brutal decapitation of his entire family and in his heightened emotional state was unable to map out a safer and more sensible route.

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A man walks into a bar later at night & the bartender says how was your day the man replies "well I found out my mom is a raging crack addict, my grampa has alzheimer's & i have terminal cancer" how was yours the bartender says "I found out im Hitlers lost son".

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops