Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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Three muffins are walking next to each other in the dessert. The muffin on the right says "Hey now it's my turn to walk in the middle!"

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Q: How do you do to get an elephant down from a tree? A: Wait for the fall when the leaves start falling you shoot it down.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

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What's even funnier than 24? A clown in a tree.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the black man go to hospital? To cure his black.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilate was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What is life? Paul.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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