What's long and black? A long and black object.

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"Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave."

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What do u call 30000 Mexicans rolling Dow a hill. Hahaha your mom

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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If you were in a room with Osama bin Laden, Hitler, and a black guy and you had two bullets, who would you shoot? Seeing as this situation is logically impossible considering that Adolf Hitler died in the year 1945 and Osama bin Laden was born in the year 1957, I would be in a room with just a black guy and two bullets. Then I would proceed not to shoot the black guy on the fact that I enjoy the talking and learning about cultural diversities between the black and white races.

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My cake is yummy, It's icing is blue. It will always be mine, Come close and I'll punch you. So stay away from it And you will be safe, But if you dont listen, Prepare ice for your face!

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A man walks into a bar and takes a seat at the bar stool. He then proceeds to look over and said a man in a suit and tie open up the window , jumps, and begins to float in mid air. In amazement he approaches the man. He says " That's amazing! How do you do that?" The man in the suit and tie replies "Drink this liquid and you will be able to fly." The man with excitement quickly rushes to the window, opens it, and suddenly falls to his death. The bartender says to the man with the suit and tie " Superman, you're a real dick when your drunk."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like funny jokes but I tend to ruin the punchline by just talking too much and that's probably why no one likes me and...

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What's worse than a baby on a mattress? A baby under a mattress.

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Curiosity killed the cat, Oh wait, I thought the dog did.

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I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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My wife's star sign was Cancer and its quite ironic how she died really... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

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Chuck Norris was so good at karate that he held the middle weight world title for 6 years and was named fighter of the year by Black Belt Magazine. He also used his talents to start a successful acting and advertising career.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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