What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

what has 2 legs and no eyes? A decapitated cat with only its lower half remaining

4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

Why didn't Santa deliver presents until the night after Christmas? You should go ask someone who knows.

Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

Why don't dinosaurs eat other dinosaurs? They're all dead.

Why did the girl eat a sandwich? because she was thirsty

Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

How did the little boy die? A speeding moving truck took a sharp turn, the locks on the doors broke open and a huge office desk flew out and crushed the boy.

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

Lololol

After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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