Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had down-syndrome

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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My girlfriend wanted to talk about her feelings ... SO I TOLD THAT BITCH THAT... i really loved her and care about her feelings

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Sam murray got home after school one day, he siad hello to his father and possibly played some Avatar on the D.S

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why did the child kill his mother because the child gave his mom AIDS

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops