Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Roses are red Violets are T I T S I like T I T S T I T S

Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

What did enzo give courtney for her 69th birthday? A cake that looked like a pussy cat named kyle

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? names

An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

A German, an Irishman, a Mexican and a Texan are flying together on an airplane over the ocean. When the plane begins to experience engine trouble, they find that there is only one parachute for the four of them! Through an amazing display of flying skill, however, the pilot is able to complete the flight and land safely.

I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

Why was the man afraid of the fish? He had ichthyophobia.

Why do jews have large noses? Genetics.

a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

SHUT UP, yes you... WHAT DID I JUST SAY!!!!

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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