Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

What is green and is not grass A frogg

How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

What happened when the nigga looked up his family tree? A gorilla shit in his face

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool then don't let her come up for air.

A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

Once a upon a time there was a girl named Cinderella. She rubbed a magic lamp and a genie appeared. Then a guy named Larry Harry walks into a laundry mat. 7 days later she died.

Why does the cow eat grass? A: Because it's green. (Cows are colorblind)

How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

You're in the middle of the ocean and you see a roller coaster. What color is the penny? Tree.

What do you call a fish with no I Defected at birth

What did the newborn get on it's birthday? A life

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

Why was 10 afraid of 9? Because 9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1...Kaboom!

A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

Incidentally,on the subject of friends, when do you actually classify someone as a friend? Is it: When you have been to each others' house; When you have had an intelligent conversation more than once; When you have stayed for dinner; Or perhaps simply when each has decided that the other is worth the air that they breathe? [L]

What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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