What's worse than tripping over your shoelace? Watching your mother get her tits cut off with a chainsaw then getting ripped apart and eaten alive by cannibals

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Doesn't matter, had sex. Except for the STD's I possibly contracted.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

I put my baby in a microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

A man walks into a bar. He drinks heavily and dies of alcohol poisoning.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

To mama's so fat that her escape velocity in her surface exceeds 3*10^8 m/s

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What magical power enables Spongebob to talk? There is no magical power. he is a cartoon therefore making him be able to anything in anyone's wild dreams.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Yo momma so ugly, she couldn't fulfill her dream of being a model.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops