What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I ounce had a parrot it talked buy never said im hungry so it died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. They order a few drinks, chat, and walk out.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Jimmy's mom cry? She got stabbed in the arm and was suffering while bleeding to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

I typed in in a Anti-joke and realized it was kind of hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A musician without any music walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Who do you think you are, a hobbit?" The musician without any music says,"yeah" and turns into a hobbit

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A policeman asks a suspect in a murder investigigation about his alibi. The suspect gives him a solid alibi. The suspect go's home to his wife and have dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why wasn't 7 afraid of 6? Numbers are numbers and therefore incapable of feeling any emotion.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies " My daughter just died of leukemia."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call someone who is bad at hand eye co-ordination? Dispraxic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops