How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why cant Sally ride her bike? Because she has ceribal pausly

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

-It ain't over till the fat lady sings -she just did -oh, I guess it's over then -k

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the safest way to tell a racist joke? Ask everybody who might hear the joke if they would be offended by a racist joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

thumb_up thumb_down +18

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the man not get his licence He was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops