What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

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How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ten. One to actually screw it in, and nine to stand around and say, "I can do it better."

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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Why did the chicken not make it across the road? Because he got hit by a transport.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Whats brown and sticky? - A brown stick.

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What's a good joke? Not this one.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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The guy told a funny joke. Why wasn't the other guy laughing? Because he was having a heart attack

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Who's obsessed with death and love to make jokes about it? The majority of the contributors in this site.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

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Q: Where does the queen of england live? A: This was the question I had to anwser to be able to post this joke.

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So mind telling me why you wont call me? And why, you know... Are you avoiding this condition of yours?

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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