mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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John has 5 brownies, 3 chocolate bars, and 62 cookies. What does John have now? Diabetes, John has Diabetes

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So the man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells the man " you will have to quit masturbating " So the man asks " why" And the doctor said " so I can examine you "

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Why did Teddy eat dirt? Because he was hungry.

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A buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand asks the server to make him one with everything

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue Did you think I'd actually cry over you? I said I loved you You believed it was true Well guess what baby You just got played too! ??????

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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whats fat round and mentally special? PeterPanMyHero!

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Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

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Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Why did the man cross the street? He just wanted to .. i don't see why not, i mean he could have gotten ran over by a train on a road but who knows he could have been run over by a turtle!

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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Why did the cave men discover fire? They were the only humans on earth.

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Hey I just meet you. And this is crazy, but im a Zombie. And you looks tasty!

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Your mom is such a big whore that she sleeps with your dad.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was tired of hearing that joke

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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How do you starve a black person? Hide his food stamps in his work boots

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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