Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

A man walks into his cubicle and sits down. After a long day of work, he goes home and happens to die whilst eating dinner.

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

You!!!!!! Cause your whole existence is just one big joke.

How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? Almost everything.

Why does the pope doesn't use this finger? (raise a finger) That's mine!

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

a man walked into a bar today he suffers from depression from his wife leaving him and taking custody of the children on the grounds that he is an alcoholic and is unfit to raise children

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

How do you get your lawyer to shut up. Hit him with a bat.

"So, what do you fancy doing tonight?" "Does it matter? We'll end up doing what you want anyway..."

Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

A man walks into a bar He's an alcoholic and it's ruining his family

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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