Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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What do you call a man with an arrow to the knee? An ambulance because he's got a serious leg injury right there.

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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What comes after Friday? A ?.

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What's the difference between celery and a truck?

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How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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How many lemurs does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What do gamers call an abortion on quintuplets? PENTAKILL!!!

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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Q: Do you know what you can make when you have enough cents? A: Dollars

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Michael Jackson walks into a bar No he doesn't. He's dead.

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What did the boy say to the elders at the senior center? Dayum, you're all ugly!

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What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

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What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

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Why did the boy chuck a fridge at the other boy? Because he broke his toy train.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops