You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well why wouldn't it?

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What has Whitney Houston got in common with a spider? They're both black and they can't get out of the bathtub

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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What is better than tissues? Correct!

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Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

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Myth: Everyone but redheads has a soul. Fact: No one has a soul.

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Want to know how the dyslexic man with no left arm and no left leg? All left

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

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What happens when you put four drunk clowns and eight sober clowns inside of a clown car? Nothing, because the clowns realized that it's dangerous to operate a vehicle while under the influence of alcohol and decides to call a taxi instead.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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The Chicken was crossing the road one afternoon, he was fined by a police officer for J walking He made it to the other side.

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(Knocks on Helen Keller's door) You: Knock knock Helen:....

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Why do I exist? Because my mom gave birth to me.

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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one of my friends died of heartburn today :( i cant believe gav is gone

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i am 26 why was i kidnapped 13 years ago cause i was in a badly written play

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops