What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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What's worse then a missed call from your dad? A missed call from your mom.

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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What do you call a really bad band? One with a poor guitar player, a bad bass player, sloppy drums, obnoxious vocals, and all of the songs sound the same. Or Nickelback.

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Why shouldn't 6 guys sleep naked in the same bed? They would not fit

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I'm Andrew Schmitt

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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You know whats annoying? Steve

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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An elephant walked into a pub and ordered a strong Vodka and Coke. "Long day?" asked the barman. "Yeah. Very. So many people stroking my trunk in my apartment - It's meant to be a private place. I'm scared to go back there. One child said they were going to rape me."

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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Heskey time.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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lol

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender who recently got out of federal prison after a 20 year sentence.

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"Imagine a World Without Free Knowledge" -I'm not imagining, thanks Wikipedia!

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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