What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jim. Oh, come in Jim!

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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Why are Pirates called Pirates? Because the word originates from the term Pirata which means 'sea attacker' in Latin.

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" Not Sally because she has no arms ~Sally jokes

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human centipede

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What do you get if you cross a bomb expert, and a homophob? a blowjob

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why Is Billy So Dumb? He Didin't Pass School

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What do you call a guy with an axe in his head? Chuck

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Why couldn't the black man support his family? He was the youngest child of 3 and already had a caring and supporting mother and father.

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A woman went for a midnight jog. She's been missing for 12 years now.

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welcome to anti joke.com. you were expecting an anti joke wernt you.

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Have you heard the one about the Priest, the Pastor, and the Mail Man? -no, how's that go? Oh you haven't? That's too bad, it's really good.

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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=3

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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