How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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* anti-punchline

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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What is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite.

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Is it a ironic if a man with ADD is driving a Ford Focus?

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding two worms in your apple. Whats worse than finding two worms in your apple, the Holocaust. Whats worse than the Holocaust, finding three worms in your apple.

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Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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You know what's funny about AIDS? Nothing.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many black teachers does it take to figure out 10 x 30. only one shes a very respected teacher

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Q: What did the hooker say to the priest? A: That was a wonderful sermon. I look forward to next Sunday's church service.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender suddenly runs out the door frantically yelling, "He's got a gun! He's got a gun!" Meanwhile, inside the bar, the patrons overpowered the gunman, tied him up and took his weapon and all the cash he had. They later used his money to buy more drinks at another bar.

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Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

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Why is our country going downhill? Because going uphill is harder.

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Q: how do you get a clown off a swing? A: You hit it with a axe

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who lives a pineapple under the sea? a proper spazztwat.

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

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A baby is cold and won't drink it's milk It's dead

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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knock. knock. whos there? ur mom now put ur pants back on

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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