How did Harry potter open the door? He had the key

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have aides egg

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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what is the opposite of 2x +3x?

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Why couldn't the blonde have kids? She had Ovarian Cancer.

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Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Allah walked into AK Bar

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What's grey and can't fly? A parking lot.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

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Why was the boy sad? Because his mother and father had just disowned him.

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Why did Austin Bell smell like tuna? He had sea food at Joes Crab Shack

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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How many straight naked men can you fit in a wardrobe? I'm not sure but the situation is highly unlikely!

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

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We're sorry, but something went wrong. We've been notified about this issue and we'll take a look at it shortly.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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