- Anti Joke

Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

Roses are red violets are red I think I'm bleeding It's getting in my eyes

mom.what is red and green? dad. what? mom. your mama dad. you Mack me cry mom gooooooooooooooooood girl. mom have you seen gmom mom.no dad. your mom killed her girl. rely mom. yes girl.thanks she suck dick for money and now i have to get a new bed so thanks mom.ya dad. so you want to be dead mom and girl. or u want to be dead dad. help me plz nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mom.yes girl yes

What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

Lady: I think you guys would be very happy here. Chandler: No no no no no no! No, we're not together. We're not a couple, definitely not a couple! Joey: You seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you? Chandler: We're not going to have this conversation AGAIN!

Why did 9/11 take place? Because God hates Satan

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery.. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car.. That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you because you’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the Earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth. The monks reply, “Congratulations, you are correct, and you are now considered a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door. The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, “May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone…The man requests the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby.. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,…. ….silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the key to the last door.” The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight…. ….But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk.

children are much like potatoes. when you eat them, they die.

The Juice where prosecuted by many time.

Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

Q: How many elephants can fit inside a Volkswagen Beetle? A: Four.

What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

What did the vegitarian order for brunch. VEGITARIANS DONT BELIEVE IN ICE CREAM>

guess what>? your mum lol

An alcoholic walks into a bar. He wakes up the next morning in a jail cell covered in blood. 3rd time this week.

Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

Dear Anti Jokes> A black guy walks into a bar...He says hey u Idiot Gimme that Root Beer.. Tony Fast says IDIOT U GET OUTA HERE RIGHT NOW!Black women gets a gun and shoots his son... Tony Fast says im callin the cops on u then they kill alll. And they got hit by a bus. By TobyTurner

The doctor woke up and the hooker he screwed told him she had the clap and he said thats the least of your problms bitch you have aids

What's most weird about necrophilia? They copulate with dead bodies.

if a tree falls in A Forest, would Robert Smith hear?

roses are grey violets are grey either i am a dog or i am color blind i cant tell im deaf go die in a hole

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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