What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

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Three men walk into a bar. One of them is not planning to consume alcohol because they are responsible and he is the designated driver.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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Why are there so many blacks in prison? *The rest of this joke has been removed to avoid causing offence*

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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A pope meets another one

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What do you give a black man for his Christmas? A gift that you feel would suit his personality so that he may draw enjoyment from said gift.

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What does and elephant and me have in common. Everything, I am an elephant.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Build a man a fire and he will be warm for a night, set a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

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Why did the man jump into the river? He wanted to go for a swim, but the pool was closed, so he swam in the river.

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"Is this the Krusty Krab ?" I'M TIRED OF YOUR SHIT TYRONE.

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What's worse than reading? A lot, but there are too many things to name

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whats worse than finding a holocaust in you apple...........

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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Did you hear about the blond that jumped off a bridge? She died.

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley, I live next door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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