What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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what do you say when your phone is broken? A: my phone is broken

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Why didn't Avery die when he got hit by a bus? The bus was going three miles per hour.

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so a man walks into a bar, then the prison warden told him to calm doun.

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Your momma is so fat that she's developed a cardiovascular disease and has 5 weeks to live

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Why did the black man jump off of a bridge? -He was in depression and comitted suicide.

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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How do catch Lady GaGa's attention? Have a Bad Romance

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Oh shit my gardens on fire

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There is a asian, mexican and a blonde boy at school. Every day they each get the same food for lunch. The asian always got noodles. The mexican a taco. the blonde boy got pb and j. They decide if they get this lunch again, they will jump off a cliff. The next day they get the same lunch and jump off a cliff. At their funeral the asian mom says " if i had known, i would have made her sushi." the mexican mom says " i would have made her a burrito." The blonde's dad say "hey don't look at me, he makes his own lunch."

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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(Knock, knock) A: Who's there? B: Orange A: That is impossible. Oranges are inanimate objects and, therefore, cannot speak.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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Balboa. Watch as Apollo Creed`s nephews son is trained by Rocky Balboa`s grandson`s neighbor to participate in the new highschool musical will they win this years golden plate? Spoiler: No they did well but lost to Clubber Lang`s and Ivan Drago`s gay sons adopted lovechild`s ballet number. But people kept cheering "BALBOA BALBOA BALBOA!" As Rocky Balboa`s grandson kept yelling "ADRIAAN, ADRIAAAAAAN!" while a picture of Rocky`s grandchild is shown in the background together with the American flag. Moral: This script may or might not have been made for a quick cash in, anyway, its coming out the next radioactive winter 2705.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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why was Logan sad? he was raped by his daddy multiple times

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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