What is the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes you laugh and one is just a clown.

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What did the dying man say to his friends? Nothing. He had no friends.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -DEFAX.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him and got better.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Why didn't the man go to the movies?? Because he likes pie.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I lied, it was a goat.

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops