One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Why did the Jew die? Because of old age

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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Guess what my dad got me for my birthday? NOTHING, he left my mom and I when I was a baby.

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y was man afaid of fire?, cuz its hot

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A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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I like that, but why am I happy?

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Q:Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A: A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him then slapped the ice cream out of his hand

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knock knock... ...no answer

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a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus. Why did the bus crash? It hit a boy eating an ice cream cone.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane act

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A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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