Like if you have a vagina. Also like if you have a dong. (Penis)

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

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There is a really funny joke which can only be seen by smart people, it goes as such:

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree no

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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why was the boy sad? there was a frog stapled to his face.

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roses are gray, violets are grayer, f*ck this poem and listen to the slayer.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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Mommy how come daddy went to the doctors today? Well sweetie, honestly daddy wanted me to shove things up his ass And I refused to so he went to the doctors so they can do it...

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What's long and black? A line at KFC.

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Q: What starts with "F" and ends with "uck"? A: "Fred is raping your sister with a puck."

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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A man walks into a bar, furious that his son had been knocked down by a car and was now in hospital with a fractured leg and concussion. Another man, who sits on a stool at the end of the bar, is playing with his drink and wondering if his wife had made a chicken curry, since she said she would for tonight's dinner.

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What do you call an arab with a beard? How cares what his name is just shoot him!

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Im sitting in class trying to write a joke. I should be writing my speech But i'm better off trying to think of the funniest joke that could get on the front page with over 9000 likes :( Lol nah thats never going to happen :'(

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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